Have you ever questioned a decision that you made and wondered if it was real?

Well, I have, many times. I am constantly second guessing myself, but I think the biggest one was my salvation. I was so happy after I accepted Jesus into my heart and promised to live for Him. Then one day not too long after I was saved, we were with some friends at a picnic, and we were just talking about life and I started to share how my life was now different. One of “my friends” turned to me and said I see a change in your husband but not so much in you. Umm, what exactly did she mean? I started second guessing my decision and wondering if I really did accept Jesus or not. Was I really saved? I never said anything to anyone, I just started to really reflect on whether I was saved or not. I went back and read the Romans Road and I remember clinging to these two verses. I prayed and prayed asking God to show me that my decision was real. I even prayed and asked God to save me again.

“because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:9

For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
Romans 10:13

These verses were very comforting to me, but I still felt that I needed to do more reflecting on my life and how I was living it. Was it different now since I was saved or did I just think it was? I had so many questions and truthfully, I felt ashamed to seek advice from my husband or even from one of our pastors. I was embarrassed that I was having these thoughts.

I just kept reading, not really understanding some of the verses but I kept at it. Then one day, it was a normal day, and I was working around the house, and I happened to walk through the living room, and something was on the tv that caught my attention, and I thought, that was probably something that I should not have on. Other things started standing out to me that before were no big deal. God was showing me that in my everyday life it was the little things that were changing. Things that never seemed like any big deal before suddenly didn’t feel right. It was like God was right there in the room with me and He was asking me, “Is this what you should be doing?” or “Is this what you should be watching?” Even in conversations I would have with people God would convict me.  So, then I thought, well, I guess it doesn’t matter what my friends think. I know in my heart I am saved. I guess when I look back on it, I spent most of my time with family and most of what we did or where we went was with our kids and other family members so for me the change in my life was not a drastic one, but it was a real one. When I look back on that time in my life I realize that our decisions don’t always have to drastic or earth shattering just sincere.

I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.
John 10:28

There are so many verses that I could list but one more that I really like is –

As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:12